The Blogging Madness

© Marta Stephens 2010 all rights reserved

Think back. Do you remember what your day was like before you started to blog? I do. I joined my first writers’ forum in 2004 and started my first blog, Prose & Musings in 2006. Before the online social networks, before e-mail, before the demands of online communication, I vividly remember having time to write. I also had time to do a sundry list of other must-do tasks that I have since shoved to the back burner and now only once in a while glance at.

Today, with two books published and two in the works, I blog in order to keep my name in front of readers and those I hope to attract with my next novel, if it ever gets to the finish line. Right now, I’m blogging about my writing progress on Prose & Musing. The logic behind it is that making the commitment to blog every day about my progress forces me to actually do something in my writing life. So far it seems to be working.

Blogging has certainly also increased my online networks and given me a chance to meet interesting and talented people along the way. At the same time, it's eaten away at my time when I wasn’t looking. Add to this, being a part of two blogs in which I/we promote other writers, Murder By 4 and my new blog (crazy me) Novel Works and time becomes a real precious commodity. I love these blogs because 1) I like book promotions/helping other writers, 2) They keep me in touch with other writers, but I find I’m constantly struggling to regain balance in my life.

Anyway, I thought I’d share something I read in a newsletter I receive from a group called Funds For Writers http://www.fundsforwriters.com/FFW.htm  earlier this year. The title of this piece is, “Blogging No-Nos.” Here it is in its entirety. By the way, writing and posting this little piece just took 55 minutes not counting planning time. Multiply those 55 minutes by the number of blogs I own/visit/post to and before I know it, my day is shot.

* * *

I'm borrowing a few of these rules from Sonia Simone, the senior editor of Copyblogger.com . Some of these lessons are common sense, others should be. But most of us have blogs these days, and those who don't are pondering whether they need one. Know what makes a meaningful blog. You don't want a blog just to have one. It needs a theme, purpose and take-away value. Who cares what you had for dinner? Do people really want to know what your children did lately, unless your blog is strictly a family communication tool? Sure your daughter's Halloween costume is adorable, but is that snippet of writing worth other people's minutes in a day filled with many other stops and obligations, online and off?

In a way, a blog is a window to you. Some use it like a memoir. The truth is, a memoir is a hard work to sell. Unless you have a remarkable, uncanny ability to project your life in a way that takes away someone's breath, the bottom line is...who cares?

Know these common blogging mistakes:

1. Taking more than you give. Don't sell instead of filling your customers' needs. Even if you have a product to sell, make sure your readers leave with more than they paid for.

2. Not updating regularly. This lack of effort reflects on your respect for the readership. At least two times a week is decent.

3. Fast writing without much thought, just to make a post. You know what I'm talking about. No one knows better than the writer himself when his writing is lame, and he writes just to fill up space.

4. Copy-catting. Be unique, don't copy someone else's blog. You want to be known for you, not the shadow of someone else. If you're serious about your blog, also consider a different background that isn't a standard template offered to millions of other bloggers.

5. Don't write about a topic that isn't appealing to the masses. If a thousand people wouldn't be interested, don't blog about it. A good sign of this flaw is lack of comments.

6. Over writing. Keep it to the point. I try to keep blog posts under 300 words. From personal experience, I know that a long post won't be read. I usually stop around 100 words.

I'll stop at 300 words if it's interesting. I'll read the entire post if it's short or if it's phenomenal. Few fall into the latter category . . . very few. Tweeters often retweet great blog posts. And great bloggers often tweet. Blogs can contain fantastic writing, trigger wonderful writing ideas, and educate with an entertaining twist. Always be on the lookout for a few good blogs. Reading blogs equates to reading the paper, if you take the time to find those of quality. Once you recognize what you like, note the strengths of the author's work - that magic that keeps bringing you back.

Marta Stephens writes crime mystery/suspense. Her books are available online at familiar shops such as all the Amazons, Barnes & Noble, Borders, Books-a-Million, and Powells. Other locations include, but are not limited to those listed on her website.
THE DEVIL CAN WAIT (2008), Bronze Medal Finalist, 2009 IPPY Awards, Top Ten, 2008 Preditors and Editors Reader Poll (mystery).SILENCED CRY (2007) Honorable Mention, 2008 New York Book Festival, Top Ten, 2007 Preditors and Editors Reader Poll (mystery),
Personal site: www.martastephens-author.com
Personal blog: http://mstephens-musings.blogspot.com  
Blog: http://novelworks2.blogspot.com/
Character Blog: http://www.samharpercrimescene.blogspot.com

Where Fiction and Reality Blur

© Paul Harris 2010 all rights reserved

One man's search for the truth in war-torn Sierra Leone, where the rules of civilized society don't apply...

Journalist Danny Kellerman receives an urgent letter from an ex-lover in Sierra Leone, where he once was a war correspondent. But it's already too late; she's been murdered in a roadside robbery. Danny returns to Freetown, where his investigation uncovers secrets that shed a shocking light on the woman he though he knew-and reveals a hidden truth that could destroy those in power. Trapped in the heart of a dangerous nation where he can trust no one, Danny is soon forced to choose between his integrity and the devastating consequences of speaking the truth.

WHEN I had finished an early draft of THE SECRET KEEPER, my novel about a journalist investigating the death of a former lover in the West African country of Sierra Leone, an old friend made a surprising observation.

In the novel, she said, there is almost no physical description of my journalist protagonist, Danny Kellerman. His hair colour, eye colour and height are all pretty much left up to the reader’s imagination. The reason, she thought, was obvious. The novel had been inspired by my own experiences as a reporter covering the end of the civil war in Sierra Leone. Danny was a journalist. So was I. Danny had found Sierra Leone both traumatising and exhilarating and been disturbed by his inability sometimes to tell the two emotions apart. So had I. Danny, essentially, was me. The book was seen through his eyes, just as my own experiences had been. No wonder I had never written down what I thought he looked like. No one thinks of themselves in that way, unless they are looking in a mirror.

It was actually an embarrassing revelation. I had known a lot of myself would seep into Danny. But not quite that much. It seemed overly self-indulgent to say the least. But it has also prompted me to think more closely about the implications of writing THE SECRET KEEPER and how much I had blended my own real life experiences into Danny’s fictional ones.

I had begun the project following the old maxim Write What You Know. It seemed like a good plan. Previous attempts at writing a novel had been far too ambitious, certainly for a first attempt. I had tried to write magical realism and the attempt ended up – to be honest – as a disaster. So I looked at my own experiences as a foreign correspondent who had spent four years traipsing around Africa. Setting a book in Sierra Leone was the obvious choice. I did not have to spend hours researching a topic I knew nothing about. I just had to tap my own memories. I began to blend my own real life experiences as a journalist with the writer’s needs to create a plot and characters.

Some were drawn straight my life. In THE SECRET KEEPER Danny has a local driver and helper (a “fixer” in journalists’ parlance). His name is Kam, a wily and witty Senegalese Muslim who forms the warm heart of much of the book. He is written purely from my real life where Kam had indeed been my fixer. At one point in the book Kam saves Danny from danger by accurately reading a crowd and spotting the warning signs of an impending riot. The real Kam saved my own skin in exactly the same way.

Other characters were based on just a kernel of truth that I let my imagination run away with. There is a deeply ambivalent character in the book called Ali, a Lebanese diamond trader and arms dealer. His is based on a single brief meeting with a man on a helicopter going into Freetown. I spotted him, aloof from all the chaos of war, sporting a pair of cool shades and looking like he was out for a stroll by the beach. From that brief moment I wondered who he might be, what he might do and let my mind come up with Ali. Someone whom it is impossible not to want to spend time with but whose immoral business dealings and carefree attitude to the suffering around him also arouse strong feelings of anger.

Others were a more even-handed blend of reality and imagination. Numerous real life journalists, mercenaries and aid workers were amalgamated into a cast of characters in Freetown that would be familiar to any NGO worker, United Nations official or foreign reporter. I mined my own experiences for plot points. I gave Danny a few close shaves that I had myself experienced. I made him cynical about some of his journalist colleagues’ motivations in the same way that I had become. I made him the haunt the bar of a seedy hotel each night with other journalists, mercenaries and the wild and weird people who flock to every war zone. Just as I had.

The trick worked. Unlike my previous writing, the novel and the plot flowed out of me. I often thought of the writing of the book as like watching a magician pull a seemingly never-ending stream of ribbons or handkerchiefs out of his nose. I did not know where it was all coming from but it never seemed to stop. I just had to mentally tug at the idea and it seemed to emerge fully formed. All I had to do was write it down.

But another strange thing has happened. The revelation about the lack of Danny’s physical description was not the only unexpected product of merging my real life experiences with those of my fictional characters. In looking back I have started to find it more difficult to tell the two apart. When I remember running across the road in the middle of a terrifying fire-fight, am I remembering it as the moment that happened to me, or the way that I later wrote it happening for Danny? When Danny gets on an aid chopper and flies to an isolated and dangerous diamond town behind rebel lines, am I thinking of my novel’s version of those events or my real life memories of doing exactly that? Is the sexist and violent Fijian mercenary I put in the book, different at all to the one I myself met?

Like every book, there is a disclaimer at the start of THE SECRET KEEPER. It legally assures people that the events portrayed are fictional and no resemblance to anyone living or dead is intended. But for me that cannot be entirely true, because an important part of my real life is in there. The world of THE SECRET KEEPER has become neither truth nor fiction, but a blend of the two and even I, who lived through the reality and then imagined the book, can’t always quite tell them apart.

***

Paul Harris is giving away a signed copy of his book, The Secret Keeper, to one lucky tour visitor. Go to his book tour page, http://paul-harris.omnimystery.com/, enter your name, e-mail address, and this PIN, 4649, for your chance to win. Entries from Murder By 4 will be accepted until 12:00 Noon (PT) tomorrow. No purchase is required to enter or to win. The winner (first name only) will be announced on his book tour page next week.

Stop by Novel Works on March 4, to read Marta Stephens's interview with Paul Harris. Comment on Novel Works for another chance to win a copy of THE SECRET KEEPER.

About the Author:

Paul Harris is currently the US Correspondent of the British weekly newspaper The Observer, the world’s oldest Sunday newspaper. He has held the post since 2003. Prior to that he reported from Africa for the Daily Telegraph, the Associated Press and Reuters. He has covered conflicts and trouble spots all around the world, including Iraq, Sudan, Burundi, Somalia, South Africa, Zimbabwe and Pakistan. In 2003 he was embedded with British forces during the invasion of Iraq.

The Secret Keeper was inspired by his reporting on events in 2000 in Sierra Leone as that country’s long civil war came to an end. Paul now lives in New York and is happy to have swapped the dangers of the front line for the less obvious perils of writing about American politics and culture.
 To learn more about the author and the book, visit his website at www.TheSecretKeeper.us.

Humor in Mystery Writing

© Robert D. Sutherland, 2010, all rights reserved

            In the real world, murder and other types of criminal behavior aren’t normally regarded as humorous. In mystery stories, however, where fictionalized crimes are the nuclei around which action swarms and characters orbit, authors are free—if the story allows—to use humor to texture the narrative and enhance readers’ enjoyment. Occasionally (as in some caper narratives, or stories of serial killers who seek revenge for a bizarre or imagined injury against a group of unsympathetic and eccentric victims, or those tales that mix the mystery with a subplot of romantic comedy) the interaction of character(s) with circumstance can result in humor that pervades the entire story. In other narratives, humor may be only intermittent—not structurally a part of the main storyline, but rather the result of mistakes and misadventures encountered in perpetrating or solving a crime, of habitual banter between friends, rivals, and co-workers, or amusing incidents of happenstance that authors frequently are able to render with swift brush strokes en passant.

            In extended narratives, humor can serve several purposes (which often overlap):

Comic relief—to add variety; establish change of pace; provide breathing space (in, or following, tightly structured, condensed, or suspenseful passages); lighten tone (when narrative becomes oppressively ponderous, grim, frightening, or emotionally painful);

Entertainment—to provide intellectual enjoyment deriving from banter and witty dialogue, observing characters interacting with each other and interesting situations, and watching the coming to fruition of extended narrative “jokes”;

Satire/parody—ridiculing or poking fun at specific character traits, institutions, belief systems, literary conventions, etc., through exaggeration, irony, or burlesque.

            Whatever purpose(s) it’s serving, the humor should grow organically from the story’s main elements—plot, character, theme, setting, event—whether singly or in combination. To be organic, it must arise from, and be consistent with, implications inherent in the specific premises that move the narrative: “If X is the case, then what Y’s could logically result?” (Bronson is afraid of heights, but nevertheless must scale the cliff … (?); Maggie can’t tolerate eating oysters, but that’s what’s served by her boyfriend’s mother whom she desperately wishes to impress … (?); Bruce is convinced that George has seduced his wife and decides to confront them both … (?); having deactivated the primary alarms, the burglars proceed, unaware that the backup system is still actively engaged … (?) Whether mundane or absurd, a premise will inherently contain within it implicit and potential consequences that can be followed out to logical conclusions. For readers, the humor arising from this process will be a logical, believable outgrowth of the established given, and not something extraneous to the story, arbitrarily or gratuitously inserted, forced, labored, or self-indulgently contrived in an effort to produce laughs.

            Examples of organic humor may be seen in the long-running “Mr. and Mrs. North” series by Frances and Richard Lockridge. Pamela North is an astute observer who frequently perceives connections and assembles clues that materially aid in solving the crime. Much of the recurring humor in the series stems from Pam’s “slant” way of seeing and processing facts and relationships, and from the confusion that her elliptical and puzzling explanations cause for her husband Jerry and police detective Bill Weigand. The stories are remarkable for the continuous witty interplay that characterizes the dialogue of Pam and Jerry. The humor of their distinct personalities and their capacity as amateurs to outdistance the police made this series of 26 novels extremely popular between 1940 and 1963.

            In Rex Stout’s “Nero Wolfe” series, on the other hand, readers find humor premised in Wolfe’s eccentric habits and lifestyle, and in streetwise Archie Goodwin’s generally good-natured, but nonetheless sardonic, comments about Wolfe, his own work, and the world around him.

            Sometimes humor resides in the glimpsed motives and personality traits of minor (even walk-on) characters, whose presence onstage makes a vignette of “funny business” possible. Animals, too (particularly cats, but also dogs, horses, and parrots), are frequently sources of humor in mystery stories, and occasionally young children and teenagers. However, when these elements are “overdone”, or—by calling attention to themselves—are seen as the author’s conscious attempts to be humorous, they can try the reader’s patience and exert a drag on forward motion.

            For further illustration, I’ll turn to my most recent novel, THE FARRINGFORD CADENZA (The Pikestaff Press, 2007), a suspenseful, humorous mystery that subtly skews generic conventions to continually surprise readers with reversals of their assumptions and expectations. The book contains many types of humor that serve the purposes mentioned above: comic relief, entertainment, and satire. One type, prevalent throughout, is affectionate parody of the mystery genre itself—designed to give pleasurable entertainment to readers familiar with the genre’s conventions, yet so “organically” rooted in plot, character, and circumstance that (for the most part) it operates subliminally, by not calling attention to itself.

            Many types of situational humor arise when the complex and highly diverse characters—all of them with strong emotions and a marked capacity for self-delusion—interact with the circumstances produced by the story’s various informing premises, each of which is rich with inherent possibilities for humorous development.

            The story’s basic premise underlies and generates all the others: Given—For a variety of motives and purposes, at least ten individuals and groups are avidly seeking the unique manuscript of an unpublished cadenza for piano solo that, having mysteriously been lost for thirty-four years, has been stolen—immediately following the triumphal announcement of its discovery—in the first of three burglaries that occur on the same night. Now, what subordinate premises could logically follow from this? I’ll list a few of those that occurred to me and that shaped the story.

Given: Most of these avid pursuers are unaware of the existence of the others, or become aware of them only as their paths continually cross.

Given: The female detective hired by the Farringford family to recover the manuscript is herself not aware of all the pursuers.

Given: Some of these pursuers wish to publish the manuscript, some desire to privately possess it, some want to sell it, some to hold it for ransom, some to destroy it, and some (convinced of the cadenza’s legendary restorative powers) to use the music itself for personal rejuvenation.

Given: All of these pursuers are willing to go to great (and sometimes bizarre) lengths to obtain the manuscript—some as far as murder.

 Given: For most of the story, neither the characters nor the readers have any clear idea where the floating manuscript might be (lost again? hidden? destroyed? passing from hand to hand?).

Given: All of the characters are capable of misrepresenting the truth, dissembling, or telling outright lies; and, as a consequence, characters cannot count on things actually being what they seem.

Following out the logical and humorous implications of each of these premises was both challenging and enjoyable. And this group is just a small sampling of the structural premises (those that shape and point the narrative). As the narrative unfolds, every significant plot development, every interaction of characters, every conversation, decision reached, and advance or setback encountered embodies its own cluster of localized, or topical, premises ripe for logical (and perhaps humorous) development.

            When I wrote the story, plot and characters organically evolved together. Event led to action, action resulted in event. While continually surprising my characters, and trying to surprise my readers, I frequently surprised myself. (Great fun!) Premises organically gave rise to logical outcomes that in turn organically produced new premises. The path would fork, I’d choose a direction, and inevitably would come to another fork.

         When nakedly stated (as above), the story’s informing premises may seem absurd or banal. But in the novel’s dramatization the premises are not stated; and it’s only in retrospect, after finishing the book, that readers would be able to articulate and summarize them. The reason for this is that readers are immediately caught up in the unspooling dramatization of the premises’ implications, pulled into the swirl of suspenseful action, and forced to confront both the obsessional intensity of those characters who are determined to have the manuscript, and the extreme measures they’ll use to obtain it.

            Unfortunately, as is usually the case when one attempts to describe particular instances of humor and analyze why something is funny—whether it’s a complex systemic interplay of character with circumstance, or a simple joke—the discussion tends to reduce and trivialize the process. Explaining why something is humorous is like dissecting a butterfly. But explaining humor to readers is not the author’s job. And while writing, authors don’t always have to explain it to themselves. If they understand fully the logical potentials of their premises, and the personalities and needs of their characters, and then simply trust their own instincts, the humor that emerges in the writing will tend to be spontaneously organic—as it ought to be.

***

Robert D. Sutherland taught courses in Linguistics and Creative Writing at Illinois State University in Normal, Illinois until his retirement in 1992. He particularly enjoyed teaching Descriptive Linguistics, History of the English Language, Semantic Theory, and Old English. In 1977, he and his co-editor James R. Scrimgeour founded Pikestaff Publications, a not-for-profit literary press that published The Pikestaff Forum, a literary magazine, until 1996. He continues serving as editor at The Pikestaff Press, which publishes books of poetry and prose fiction. In 2009 he began a blog for writers and readers of mysteries. He and his wife Marilyn have traveled widely, reared two sons to adulthood, and worked to promote peace, social justice, and preservation of the natural environment. His publications include a scholarly book, LANGUAGE AND LEWIS CARROLL; a novel, STICKLEWORTAND FEVERFEW (containing 74 of his pencil illustrations), which received the 1981 Friends of American Writers Juvenile Book Merit Award for author/illustrator; a second novel, THE FARRINGFORD CADENZA; short fiction, poems, and essays on literature, education, and publishing. His interests include classical music, the nature of metaphor, reading, travel, film noir, and the comparative study of mythologies.

Books by Robert D. Sutherland:

            

LANGUAGE AND LEWIS CARROLL, Janua Linguarum, Series Maior, 26 (Mouton DeGruyter, 1970). 245pp.  A scholarly work; currently in print.

STICKLEWORT AND FEVERFEW.  A novel for children, adolescents, and  adults, with 74 illustrations by the author.  (The Pikestaff Press, 1980). 355pp. Prize: Received the 1981 FRIENDS OF AMERICAN WRITERS JUVENILE BOOK MERIT AWARD for author/illustrator.

            
THE FARRINGFORD CADENZA. A NOVEL (The Pikestaff Press, 2007). 523 pp.

Personal web site:   http://www.robertdsutherland.com

Pikestaff Press web site:  http://www.pikestaffpress.com

Mystery-writing blog:   http://mystery-writing-vergil.blogspot.com/

The Long Lost Art of Letter Writing (on paper!)

copyright aaron paul lazar, 2010

Most of us correspond daily with email. When you take a moment to slow down and examine your email, you may realize you write and receive dozens per day. Some days it’s more, but if we go away for a week or get caught up in life away from the Internet for a while, we’re often buried.

Sound familiar?

How long has it been since you wrote a real live honest to goodness paper letter? On stationary, for that matter? I hadn’t even sent Christmas cards in eons, since life got crazy and I could quickly dash off an e-card or a few lines of Christmas cheer with a bright email. So much simpler, right?

Email became so convenient that we all sneered at snail mail and used to roll our eyes when some venture required us to actually print out a letter and affix a (way too expensive) stamp to it.

But since I got my new wireless printer, packs of fancy paper and envelopes, and started applying for colleges and new agents all at the same time, I got into the groove of typing out envelopes (I never could figure out how to do that until now, LOL!) and letters on nice stationary. Damn, they look so good on that pale blue fancy parchment paper.

Strangely enough, I found the exercise pleasant. There was something satisfying about licking the stamp and putting it in the mailbox. I started to wonder if I was regressing to my youth, because I used to correspond with people all the time. When I left home to move to the Finger Lakes region of New York, I wrote long newsy letters to my grandparents back on the east coast. I’d enclose snapshots (another thing I haven’t ordered in ages! Must do that!) and enjoyed the process of sitting out under a big old maple tree during my lunch breaks at work, and penning many pages about our triumphs and traumas. My handwriting has gone to hell in a hand basket since then, probably because I don’t practice any more. It used to be quite elegant, something like the Renaissance man I’m supposed to be should have in his arsenal of skills. You know, drawing, piano, gardening, photography, poetry, and nice handwriting. Ha.

Since I’ve had a little more time on my hands this year (in starts and spurts), I’ve taken the time to print out well crafted letters to friends I haven’t seen in ages to reconnect with them. My ex-boss from Kodak, a fellow writer who’s in the hospital, my old pal from college… it felt good to create a letter you can touch and feel and save in a drawer. Know what I mean?

When people send me thank you cards – something that’s really almost a lost art, I think – I feel so special! After a library event or book club appearance, I’ve often received these colorful notes from my readers. You know what? It feels great.

I wonder, have you taken the time to pen a handwritten note lately?

Do you notice how much more casual we are in our emails compared to when we type them to print out or write them longhand? We’ve gotten more and more lax in our grammar, punctuation, and now the shortcuts are so common that even in this article I’ve used “LOL”, because I think there are just a handful of people out there who don’t know it means Laughing Out Loud. It’s so engrained now, I sometimes find myself tempted to use it in my writing, which is absurd, of course.

If you can find a spare moment this weekend, go dig up some of your old cards or stationary, and pen a thoughtful note to someone you’ve let drift out of your life. It’ll make you feel real good. And I’ll bet it will make your friend feel even better.

 ***

Aaron Paul Lazar writes to soothe his soul. The author of LeGarde Mysteries and Moore Mysteries enjoys the Genesee Valley countryside in upstate New York, where his characters embrace life, play with their dogs and grandkids, grow sumptuous gardens, and chase bad guys. Visit his websites at www.legardemysteries.com andwww.mooremysteries.com and watch for his upcoming release, HEALEY’S CAVE, coming in 2010.

The Changing Market of Ebooks

© Janie Franz 2010 all rights reserved

Traditional publishing like the music industry has experienced a paradigm shift. For nearly two decades, I’ve watched the music industry still try to lure young artists with the promise of a record deal, as if it were an ascension into music heaven. I have seen that fluffy dream of a book deal create a sparkle in the eyes of new writers, too. But somewhere along the road, musicians learned that when the golden record contract was in their hands, there were restrictions of ownership and what they could produce, at the worst end of the spectrum. On the other end of the spectrum, there was no budget and the artist still had to promote his or her work on the road, even buying their own advertising and promotional collateral.

As technology advanced, musicians, including Arlo Guthrie in the mid-1980s, decided to produce their own works and sometimes those of other artists, knowing that they would still need to do their own marketing and promotion, but they got a bigger share of the revenues. Studio time was still expensive, though some artists like Kyle Cook of Matchbox Twenty created their own studios, building them with earnings from their music careers. Soon, however, smaller independent studios emerged and smaller independent labels appeared. Though some young musicians still are searching for their record deal in the sky, the independent music scene has thrived and exists because of the internet and fanbase building it has encourage.

This same scenario is happening in the publishing industry. Technology first sprouted POD (print on demand) publishers and then a variety of epublishing scenarios. But the biggest technological development that is impacting traditional print publishing is the ebook. They’ve been around for at least two decades in one form or another, but as print sales slowed for a variety of reasons, ebooks sales increased astronomically.

Last year, CBS News reported that about 2 billion print books were sold in the US, but that was down 5 percent from 2008 and was expected to drop 2 percent more this year. Four years ago, when print sales were higher, traditional publishing made between $25 billion and $30 billion a year, as was reported by Mark R. Nelson in EDUCAUSE Review in 2008.

Ebook sales have reflected that they are not a novelty anymore, probably due to the new user-friendly readers produced by Sony and Barnes and Noble that are competing with Amazon’s Kindle. Ebook sales have soared from $5.8 million in 2002 to $20 million in 2006 (Nelson, 2008). Last year alone, CBS News reported that there was $150 million in ebook sales, and it is supposed to be a billion dollar business by 2012. In 2008, Nelson estimated $3 to $5 billion in ebook sales by 2012.

Sarah Rotman Epps and James McQuivey of Forrester Research predicted in December of last year that ebook sales for 2010 would reach $500 million in the US. So, it is not a far leap to see billions of dollars in sales two years later.

Ebooks have even infiltrated higher education with textbooks slowly being published in ebook formats as well as magazines and newspapers offering eformat subscriptions. Though a lot of this material was originally read on a computer screen, that is changing. Not only are ebooks read on digital readers but also sent to iPods and cellphones and various other small digital devices.

Today’s young people have been described as “digital natives” while those of us over 40 are considered “digital immigrants.” Digital savvy users are looking for more convenient ways to get news, information, and pleasure reading.

Writer Barbara Ehrentreu reports: “Random House is creating free customized apps for IPhones allowing some best selling authors to connect with their fans and their fans to connect with them. The apps will let fans ‘preview books, access bonus content, interact with other fans, check upcoming author appearances, listen to audiobook clips, and watch author videos and book trailers.’” This is unprecedented communication between author and reader.

With the promise of ebook readers coming in color and with a load of apps, ebook sales will continue to soar. And traditional publishers like major record labels will have to adjust to this new medium or die the death of an aging dinosaur.

Some of the major publishing houses are responding by offering agency pricing to ebook retailers, which gives the retailer 70 percent of the sales while the publisher takes 30 percent. This is being done so that publishers can offer books at prices they think are fairer to the author. Since some of these publishers offer their authors 30 percent royalty, they are not making a dime on ebook sales. Hatchette Books is one such publisher. And they are doing this not with older titles, as you might expect, but releasing ebooks concurrently with print versions. This gets more book in readers hands than they could have previously. This move is not setting with Amazon, the ebook retail giant who has previously offered sales conditions and pricing that left many authors with fewer royalties.

This also means that many small publishers can now offer more opportunities for new authors like me and still compete on an equal footing with publishing giants. Finally, the publishing industry has recognized this technological paradigm shift and is reacting in ways that are good for consumers and for authors as well.

About the author:

Janie Franz, author of "THE BOWDANCER" still calls herself a Southerner (she was born in Tennessee) though she has spent more than half her life living in North Dakota. She holds a degree in anthropology and has an unquenchable curiosity, which may explain the broadness of her journalism credits that include regional, national, and international publications. She has co-written two books with Texas wedding DJ, Bill Cox (The Ultimate Wedding Ceremony Book and The Ultimate Wedding Reception Book), and has published a writing manual, Freelance Writing: It’s a Business, Stupid! She is also a prolific book and music reviewer, and runs her own online music publication, Refrain Magazine.


She has been a radio announcer, a booking agent for a groove/funk band, and a yoga/relaxation instructor. She has been happily married to a singer/songwriter for almost four decades. They have a daughter who is a fiber artist and is married to an animator, and a son who is the executive chef of The Toasted Frog, a high-end martini bistro, and who plays drums and blues harmonica with local bands. The Bowdancer is her first published work of fiction.

Janie Franz is currrently on a virtual book tour through Novel Works. To learn more about her and her writing go to: http://novelworks2.blogspot.com/2010/02/fantasy-author-janie-franz-on-tour.html

Writing Action Scenes

by Kim Smith

Planning on writing a suspense novel? How about a fast-paced thriller? No matter if it is one of these or just a plain old romance, you should plan on getting some action in your fiction. Drama, tension, and action will keep your reader reading all the way to the end.

How can you figure out action and what it is? Pick a book out of the shelf in your house and find the place in the book that made you read faster. What did they do style-wise that made you read in a hurry?

My guess is, several things including but not limited to :
1. Short choppy sentence structure
2. Heavy dose of active verbs
3. Build up of the scene with tension

These things make the action scenes read snappy and quick and make our hearts race a little until we get to the resolution of either the scene or the whole story. Don’t forget to make sure your character in the midst of the action scene is performing acts that are plausible and possible. Can’t have a guy landing a punch and pulling out his gun at the same time!

Another great way to build action in your book is to use all the senses. What do they smell? Blood? Sweat? What do they hear? Slaps? Thuds? What about taste? Yes, in all things bring taste in! He could taste his own sweat where it runs into his mouth from the sides of his face if he is bending down, face toward the ground. He could taste blood. He could taste – well, you get the point. And so on.

One little note, don’t keep stuffing action scenes in your book with no build up and especially with no let down. We all need a breather in there. Imagine watching a ramped up version of the hot television series 24 with no commercials!! It’s very exhausting with no break from the tension, so be kind to your reader.

One more thing, it helps to have a character that fits the bill for action. A wimpy “fainting Violet” will never do in an action scene. A hard-nosed kick-butt hero or heroine will surely make that tension more believable.

Happy writing!

The Copper Clapper Caper

Every once in a while, we just have to kick back and have a little fun.  For those who remember Jack Webb from the TV series, "Dragnet" and those great dialogues on the Johnny Carson Show, enjoy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fDNWh6VApKI

How to Sell Books By the Truckload

(Please note: The following is not actual advice. This is completely tongue-in-cheek and sarcastic, and written because I am feeling sarcastic today. The author of the following post does not actually bear any ill will toward any of the authors who may or may not be inferred through the following piece. The author of this post actually admires many of them, though she will not say which ones.)

Are you thinking about becoming an author? Do you want your name splashed all over newspapers, magazines and the Internet? Do you dream of seeing people reading your books in cafes, on subways, and in airports? Check out these tried-and-true methods of becoming a rich and famous author!

* Tackle the central tenets and long-held beliefs of a huge, powerful and influential institution and create a fictionalized account of corruption and buried secrets, thereby angering that institution and getting its administration to ban your book, prompting its members to buy it and see what the fuss is all about.

* Get a head start: write a novel when you're still a teenager, while your parents own and operate a publishing company, and get them to cart you around selling your book.

* Choose a genre and subject about which you know nothing, thereby allowing you to ignore all the established lore and come up with something completely "original, fresh and different" (and sparkly). Target teenage girls by making your main character an empty shell upon which they can project.

* Instead of writing your own books, become an idea person who dictates outlines to a team of co-writers, therefore allowing you to produce 9 novels every year. Make sure to keep your chapters ridiculously short (this creates "page-turners"). Produce television commercials, and buy a little $100 million shack in Florida.

* Change your legal name to Stephen King. Publish your grocery list.

* Sell your soul to Satan.

* Die before your book is released.

Any of these things will virtually guarantee wild authorial success!

(Alternately, you could - oh, I don't know - work your butt off, write a great book, and hope for the best...)

This message is brought to you by People Who Are Sick And Tired Of Ridiculous "Out Of The Box, It Worked For So-and-So" Crap Masquerading As Sound Advice. No authors or furry animals were harmed in the creation of this message. Please tip your waitstaff. Have a nice day.

Book Review for The Farringford Cadenza, by Robert D. Sutherland (review by Aaron Lazar)

Title:  The Farringford Cadenza

Author:   Robert D. Sutherland

Publisher:   The Pikestaff Press

Genre: Mystery, 523 pages

Publisher's Address: PO Box 127, Normal, Illinois 61761

ISBN number:  978-0-936044-08-8

Price: $15.95

Publisher website address: http://www.pikestaffpress.com/

Author’s personal website: http://www.robertdsutherland.com

Mystery-writing blog:  http://mystery-writing-vergil.blogspot.com/




“October 18, 1947

As the train slows to a crawl for its scheduled stop at Bristow,Pennsylvania, its cars glide like dark coffins past the lights spaced evenly on poles along the station platform. Eight coaches back from the locomotive, the window of a particular sleeping compartment presents a blank and staring eye to the lights as they tick rhythmically past. Each, in its turn, briefly illuminates the table just inside the window—the highball glasses and overflowing ashtray— the formal dress-suit, with tailed coat, hanging on the wall— the rumpled bed—the body on the bed.


When the train has chuffed to a halt with a rumbling shudder and hissing of steam, a light-pole stands directly opposite the window. Should anyone look in—that porter, say, trundling past with his baggage cart—he’d see, starkly displayed among the tangled bedclothes, a man of middle-age—lean, angular, face-up and stretched full-length in striped pajamas. Left arm bent across the chest; right flung far aside to hang in space. Dark chestnut hair just slightly streaked with gray. Face like putty, gone to sag; backward tilted, mouth agape; eyes slitted upward with a jellied stare. 


A closer look: the pajama shirt is wrongly buttoned, the trousers twisted awkwardly askew and backside front.”

The Farringford Cadenza is evocative of a deliciously complex British mystery, underpinned with American sass and laced with luscious musical themes. When a rare six-minute piano composition by musical genius Charles Philip Farringford disappears, a nut and shell game extraordinaire begins. After decades of mystery, like a leaf flitting on a playful breeze, the cadenza appears in a piano bench in a dusty old shop, only to be stolen, re-stolen, diverted, hidden, passed around, stolen again, and disappeared, time and time again. Just when you think you know which shell the cadenza is under, the scales tip and the hunt begins anew.

When American composer Charles Farringford dies in bed on a train bound for New York City in 1947, he’s discovered dressed with his pajama pants on backwards and his top buttoned wrong. This untimely death follows three rare performances of the hand-written piano cadenza, integral to the fourth movement of Farringford’s Fifth Concerto. Performed only to three audiences whose lives were literally changed by the legendary music, powerful enough to bestow stallion-like powers on the impotent, to haunt the lives of those affected, to cause rare collectors to salivate and offer millions for its return, the music disappears on the day the beloved composer dies, only to turn up over thirty-four years later in Baltimore.

With the press agog and musicians stirred up all over the world, music lovers prepare to be thrilled by the cadenza. This life-changing music that propelled listeners to states of rapture when first heard in 1947 is scheduled to be delivered to Lunner and Dinch, the publishers of the original Concerto. The music went to press without the cadenza, but was performed by pianists who’ve written their own interpretation of the missing movement. But the mystical music is not yet to be heard by the public, for bodies begin to drop with an alarming rate and the cadenza once again disappears.

Detective N. F. Trntl (yes, there are no vowels in her last name), a tough, clever, persistent investigator who can foil the worst villain, is hired by Farringford’s family and Lunner and Dinch to find the cadenza and bring it home. She and her assistant, Carol, begin a series of misadventures that have them bouncing between Baltimore and New York, pursued by the Mob and rubbing shoulders with the elite, including spunky and talented pianist Rosamond Foxe, who is lusted after by the rich and powerful Victor Zyzynski and who also is intricately and intimately woven into this delightful mystery. I’ll not spoil the plot, but the finale of this masterful novel spirals to a page turning end, moving from St. Croix to New York City, and kept this reviewer up into the wee hours of the morning.

Sutherland’s style is professional and polished, his wit delightful, but what I found most intriguing were his character descriptions. For example:

“He was a wizened gnome, extremely short, with an exceedingly thin and pointed nose, the skin of his face cross-hatched with deep lines and creases. Behind rimless lenses, steel-blue eyes stared unblinking; the sphincter of his mouth was a tight pucker. On the table before him, his hands rested plump and pawlike, corrugated with prominent blue veins and freckled with age spots. His nails glistened as if painted with clear lacquer.”

And this:


“Fingers was a squat, burly man with large ears, ponderous jowls road-mapped with crimson capillaries, and restless belly-button eyes.”

If you like twists and turns, if you’ve ever been emotionally stirred by music, if you love an intellectual chuckle, or if you’re a fan of page-turning chase scenes, you’ll find The Farringford Cadenza a delightful read.

Robert D. Sutherland

***

Aaron Paul Lazar writes to soothe his soul. The author of LeGarde Mysteries and Moore Mysteries enjoys the Genesee Valley countryside in upstate New York, where his characters embrace life, play with their dogs and grandkids, grow sumptuous gardens, and chase bad guys. Visit his websites at www.legardemysteries.com and www.mooremysteries.com and watch for his upcoming release, HEALEY’S CAVE, coming in 2010.

Edumacation for 'Riters

When I was just starting this writing life, I took classes. I bought books, and I took classes. I went to seminars, bought books, and took classes. I... well, you get the picture.

It never hurts to expand your horizons. In fact, I am going to take an online class very soon just to keep my skills brushed up. Gathering info from others who have good ideas for this lonely, writing journey is always a good idea.

Some of my online friendships are from the times I spent expanding my horizons and learning about the craft of writing. My mama always said education is one thing no man can take from you. See? Mama is always right!

If you are interested in taking some classes for a really reasonable fee, check out the place I am planning on taking from.
Workshops

I found out about these from my Facebook friend, Beth Barany. She is teaching the class I am taking in March. Thanks Beth!

Good luck!

How Far Will You Go To Research Your Next Novel?

© Marta Stephens 2010 all rights reserved

When I think of research, I think of interviews with professionals in the field, scouring the pages of books and journals, and doing more than a few Google searches to find what I need.

Today I'd like to share a bit about a fellow author and friend, David L. Robbins, author of nine historic suspense novels. His latest, BROKEN JEWEL, was released on November 9, 2009. 

I recently received the following e-mail from David (reprinted here with permission) in which he shares a bit about his next novel, THE DEVIL'S WATERS, and his form of research--the kind of trip he embarks on to research all of his works.  Check out some of his photos from other trips on his website!

My thoughts and prayers are with him for safe travels.

***

On February 24th, I’ll be heading for Africa, to research my upcoming novel THE DEVIL'S WATERS. This will be a contemporary swashbuckler set in the waters around the Horn of Africa, plied by a significant fraction of the world’s cargo shipping, and Somali pirates.

My research trip will take me from Malta, through Suez, south along the Red Sea, then out into the Gulf of Aden, north to Dubai. These are pirate waters. I will be on the cargo freighter CMA CGM Wagner (http://www.facebook.com/l/9822d;www.marinetraffic.com/ais/shipdetails.aspx?mmsi=235068274)  as a passenger. I’ll be taking notes for the book, asking questions, imagining scenes and characters. After that, I’ll spend a week in Djibouti, working with an elite Air Force unit, the PJ’s (pararescue jumpers). They’ll be the heroes of the novel.

And I will be Tweeting and blogging.

For THE DEVIL'S WATERS, I intend to record the entire creation of the book, from my initial research and travel all the way through completion. There will be daily updates of my progress, bibliographies of source material, and once I start writing in April, insights into the development of the pages themselves.

For those of you good folks who are fans and supporters of my work, and for the aspiring writers in the crowd, I intend to make this journey with you alongside as best I can. My hope is that you’ll enjoy the experience, learn something, and tell others you think might find this instructive or even fun. For me, I’ll have the thrill (fingers crossed) and support of taking a community of interested readers and writers along for what is always a daunting challenge, the crafting of a novel.

You can find my updates on Twitter at (http://www.facebook.com/l/9822d;twitter.com/DavidLRobbins)  and on Facebook at the new David L. Robbins Fan Page (http://www.facebook.com/group.php?v=wall&ref=ts&gid=311550712754).  

This is all new for me, and exciting. I’ll try not to get kidnapped along the way.

See you online. Thanks, and take care.

Best regards,

David R.

E-book Evolution Continues

In further growing pain style news for New York publishing, more big publishers move toward the agency model for e-books - this is the sales shift I mentioned in previous posts, first adopted by Macmillan, in which publishers sell e-books to retailers at a 70-30 profit split (that's 70 percent for the retailers, 30 percent for the publishers), under the condition that the publisher sets the retail price at which the e-books are sold.

However, not all major publishers (and they're not naming names) are adopting the agency model. And the verdict still isn't in whether this shift (or lack of shift) is beneficial to the publishing industry in general.

And in who-else-is-tired-of-the-revolution-and-wants-some-laughs news, here are some funnies stolen from agent Kristin Nelson's blog:

Church Bulletin Bloopers - the following announcements have appeared in church bulletins and newsletters across the country. Mistakes, unfortunate wording and all.

The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
--------------------------
The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'
--------------------------
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
--------------------------
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.
--------------------------
Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
--------------------------
Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
--------------------------
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
--------------------------
Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
--------------------------
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
--------------------------
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow..
--------------------------
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.
--------------------------
Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
--------------------------
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
--------------------------
Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered..
--------------------------
The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
--------------------------
Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
--------------------------
The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
--------------------------
This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
--------------------------
Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. Is done.
--------------------------
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
--------------------------
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
--------------------------
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
--------------------------
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance..
--------------------------
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.

And here's a little something I ran across while out and about the other day - a bumper sticker, which I now want for my car:

I'VE FOUND JESUS!
He was behind the couch the whole time.

Weird writing/book news

Didja hear the one about the teenager who wrote a three volume novel on a cellphone? It's true!

Or how about Derek Sivers post telling Kurt Vonnegut's explanation about why we are trying to turn our lives into a fairytale?

Finally, if you are just sick of printed books, and think they all need to be turned into something besides an object of literary admiration, check out 9 ways to turn old books into something else

There you have it, ladies and gents. There is a lot of weird writing/book news for you today. And I will end with a quote, very timely, if I do say so.

The pen is mightier than the sword if the sword is very short, and the pen is very sharp.
Terry Pratchett

Bopping Around the Internet

Sometimes writers have to (gasp!) do things that aren't writing. Today is one of those days for me. So, I'm giving away some books!

I'll be chatting all day at Lena Matthews' forum here, and giving away a choice of three different novels:

Lena Matthews' group (you have to join to comment, but it's auto-approval membership)

And I'm guest blogging over at You Gotta Read, with a giveaway copy of Broken Angel for a commenter (the YGR post is a reprint of a fun bit I did here on MB4 a while back, but I still get a kick out of it :-):

You Gotta Read Guests

Have a great week, y'all!

Oh, My!

Thanks to Pat Brown, author of L. A. Boneyard for sharing these humorous answers taken from high school exams. And you thought kids didn't learn anything in school.

* Q. Define the first person.
   A. Adam.

* Punctuate means to make a hole in the tyre of a bicycle.

* Metaphor: A thing you shout through.

* Simile: A picturesque way of saying what you really mean, such as calling your mother an old trout.

* The feminine of Bull:  Mrs Bull.

* The parts of speech: Lungs and air.

* Verb: Something to eat.

* Adverb: The horses run fastly. This is an adverb.

* Abstract noun: Something you can’t see when you are looking at it.

* Abstract noun: The name of something which has no existence, as goodness.

* Abstract noun: Something we can think of but cannot feel — as a red-hot poker.

* Example of a collective noun: A flock of cattle.

* Example of a collective noun: A garbage can.

* Conjunction: The place where 2 railway lines meet.

* Imperfect tense: Used in France to express a future action in past time which does not take place at all.

* All sentences are either simple or confound.

* Passive voice:
Q. Correct the sentence — “It was me that has broken the window”.
A. “It wasn’t me that has broken the window”.

* Spelling (an English teacher’s comment on a student’s essay): "A dictionery would solve your spelling problems." (In case you missed it, dictionary is spelled wrong)

Writing with Kids

copyright 2010, aaron paul lazar

On MB4 we’ve written hundreds of articles about the craft of writing, the world of publishing, the aching sense of loneliness we sometimes endure as solitary artists, and so many more writing life topics… But I don’t think we’ve ever written about children and their heads-full-of-stories.

I’m going to admit something to you. I’m an old fuddy duddy. At least when it comes to kids and their upbringing. If you’ve read any of my “slice of life” articles where I share stories about my grandkids, you already know that I believe kids should be outside, playing. Simply playing. They should be using their imaginations, climbing trees, picking wild blackberries, throwing balls, and running. Lots of running is important.  

My childhood was full of those activities and more. I was lucky enough to have an old chestnut gelding, and we roamed the woods and fields alone and with friends for most of my young years.

So, here it is: winter 2010, we STILL have no snow to frolic in, and I see my grandsons playing this godawful Xbox 360 (or whatever the heck it’s called!). So, I get crazy. I hate seeing them pretending to drive, bomb, kick, hit, stab or whatever it is those stupid games allow them to do. I REALLY hate it. But they aren’t mine to raise (not 100%, anyway, LOL) and I have to tolerate some of the stuff that comes with their generation.

This week, however, I decided to lure them away with the idea of making a book together. Julian helped me with chapter 1 and part of chapter 2; Gordie took over midway through chapter 2, and then it snowballed. I typed and helped them by asking questions like, “and what did they see in the green puddle?” and “what did the billy goat say to the boy?” etc. Each boy wanted to write a chapter every night. We got up to chapter four, and then they had to leave to go to their daddy’s house. We’ll add more next week when they come back. They drew pictures on the computer, and we printed them out to use in our “book.” We made four copies of it for various members of the family, and they erupted in peals of laughter every time a new victim read the story.

I can’t tell you how much fun it was, but thought for a lark I’d share some of our unedited creations below. Now, if we were writing this for a real storybook, I might have jumped in more and suggested some funny twists. But really, it was funny enough to see what came out of their little boy minds. I even left in all the exclamation marks that I HAD to include because of how they yelled out the sentences with such excitement on their faces. ;o) I had a blast, and hope you’ll get a kick out of it, too.

Billy and His Friends, by Julian and Gordon Martin

Chapter One

Billy was walking down the street one day. He saw a green puddle, and he jumped in it! The puddle went all the way to Chinatown. Billy got hungry, and ate all of the eggrolls in Chinatown, ‘cause he was so hungry!

His tummy got so big, it was as big as a pumpkin house. Then he got very sleepy, and fell asleep in the grass on the side of the road.

A billy goat woke him up and said, “Will you be my friend, Billy?”

Billy said, “Sure! But what’s your name?”

“My name is Billy Goat Filly.”

“We have the same name!”

“Yes, but you can call me Billy Goat.”

Along came a brown horse, named Connie. She nickered and stood beside them. On her head was a horsefly named Goofy. Goofy had a very large nose, and she honked loudly when she blew it.

“Honk! Honk!” said Goofy.

“Do you have a cold, Goofy?” asked Billy.

Goofy said, “No, it’s just my big nose.”

Billy and Billy Goat wanted a ride on Connie’s back. Billy asked, “Can we have a ride on you?”

Connie said, “No goat is going to ride me. Billy Goat is too big. But you can have a ride, Billy.”

Billy hopped on her back and they cantered away to the land of giant gumdrops that looked like hills. Purple, orange, yellow, green, pink, and red candies glowed at night. Billy ate so much candy, he got a tummy ache. The other animals helped him with his stomachache by giving him Tums and rubbing lavender, ginger, and peppermint oils on him.

They traveled a long purple road through the candy forest to the land of teensy tiny babies. Babies crawled everywhere, crying “Mama!” and “Papa!” and “Daddy!” and “Gordie!” and “Gramma!” and “Julian!” 

Chapter Two

Billy, Billy Goat, Connie, and Goofy, all made bottles for the babies with strawberry milk inside. The babies drank it for nineteen hours. Then they slept for a long time.

Billy got back on Connie, and Goofy landed on Billy Goat for a ride. They headed across the river to the land of the blue herons. One hundred herons were flying above them and they went down and landed on a blue pond with fish inside and they ate the fish, because they love fish! 

Billy, Connie, Goofy, and Billy Goat, went on a purple boat that was really super big! It had a living room, bedroom, kitchen, dining room, and robots in it! And sometimes the silly robots danced on the deck! They sang “Chaka WEE!” and “Mmm mmm MMM mmm” and “Tikka weowww.” Suddenly, they all looked up and saw giant yellow birds flying down, trying to get the robots into the water because they were trying to hurt the people and animals on the boat!

The animals and Billy tried to swim to shore, because the boat was sinking! They almost made it to beach, then the huge wave pushed them onto the sand.

Chapter Three

When they all reached the shore, a big wave came and pushed them into a tree. They thought it tickled! It was so big, it pushed them up to the leaves! They took all of the other trees, cut them up, and made a big treehouse so they could live there!

They made swings so they could jump in the water and swim! Even Connie swam, with Goofy flying in circles over their heads to make them spin around and get dizzy. When they were hungry, they swam to shore and ran to MacDonalds, because they were SO hungry, they wanted to eat fries and hamburgers. They wanted to drink Mountain Dew, but a big angel came down from the sky and said, “Do not drink the Mountain Dew, it is full of caffeine! And it’s not good for children.” They listened, but they didn’t want to listen, so they secretly drank the Mountain Dew.

Then, they were WILD from the caffeine. So wild, they accidentally ran into the angel, and knocked her down! They helped her by giving her Mountain Dew to drink, and now SHE was wild! She flew around in crazy circles, fast as an airplane speed limit.

They punched themselves into the sky and landed at Chuckie Cheeses, where they played video games. Connie didn’t have fingers, she had hooves, so she used her teeth to play the games. Billy played the shooting game, and he got a million trillion billion tickets. Then, they got homesick, and wanted to go back to their treehouse.

When the got home, they found Santa Claus in their treehouse!

Billy said, “Santa!” and he hugged him.

Santa said, “Billy! I need your help! I have a problem!”

Billy Goat, Connie, and Goofy asked, “What is it?”

Santa said, “I can’t figure out what present goes to who!”

The Angel said, “to whom!” (okay, so I added this line… hee hee)

They all laughed.

Santa sat down in the corner and cried. He was so tired and sleepy. He fell fast asleep.

While he was sleeping, they all took the presents and opened them and kept them.

Chapter Four

After Santa slept for ten million hours, a hedgehog came into the tree house and yelled, “Santa! Santa! Santa!” Santa didn’t wake up.

Then a second hedgehog came in and yelled, “Billy! Billy! Billy!” Billy was too busy playing with the stolen presents.

Then a third hedgehog came in and yelled, “ARRRRRRRR! Why did you steal from Santa? Now all the children won’t get their presents!”

Billy felt really bad, and re-wrapped all the presents and put them back in Santa’s sack. Then Connie said, “Let’s help Santa figure out who gets what presents.”

Billy said, “Okay!”

After Santa flew off in his sleigh with his new list and all his presents and reindeer, the four friends hopped down from the tree and decided to go to South America. They took a plane and said to the pilot, “We want to drive this plane.”

So, they pushed the pedals and Billy Goat Filly steered the plane. When they landed, they heard a big CRACK! The airplane cracked and a wing fell off. But they were all right.

They saw a giant snake trying to eat them. Billy Goat Filly stomped as hard as he could on the snake and it hurt a LOT. The snake was so scared, his tail fell off. Then a BIGGER snake came and he said, “Hey, Ding Dong, Billy Goat Filly! Ding Dong! Ding Dong! Ding Dong! Bing Bing!”

Billy said, “I’ll give you lollypops if you snakes go away.”

The snakes said, “Okay. We love lollypops.”

Now the four friends headed for a giant waterfall. By accident, they all fell over it, and splashed into the water below. They started swimming, and they landed on an island, where they found coconut trees, bananas, and pineapples.

“Yummy! We will eat all of the pineapples, bananas, and coconuts,” said Goofy and Billy.

After they ate, they found a cave with diamonds and emeralds and pineapples in it. Suddenly, a dragon came into the cave and blew fire at them. He said, “Why are you taking my pineapples. That’s my dinner!”

The four friends said, “Sorry, we didn’t mean to take your dinner.”

The dragon said, “I don’t want your apology.” He blew more green, blue, yellow, pink, and purple fire at them. “Bad boy, Billy Goat Filly!”

They all ran away from the dragon, and flew back home to their treehouse to plan their next adventure.

The end (for now)

***

I had to work a little hard with Gordie to try to gently redirect the the fighting and hitting and chasing and fire blowing. Julian was more willing to come up with topics like the candy land with all the babies crawling around. He also likes the fighting topic, but has a wider variety of interests.

It cracked me up to see Gordie’s little voice coming out in the story, especially when he talked about the robots, Santa, and the dragon. I guess you’d have to know these precious boys to appreciate it the way I did. As an aside, however, I’m the one who’s always telling them they can’t drink soda (the Mountain Dew comment). I laughed that they made my comments coming from the poor angel. LOL.

Have you tried this with the kids in your lives? Give it a try. It’s really an eye-opener. And who knows, it might kick start your own creativity!

Whatever you do today on this Superbowl Sunday, whether it's immersing yourself in watching the game, whipping up treats for those were are doing so, or just enjoying another Sunday at home, be sure allow some writing time. And remember to write like the wind!

                                                                                                                       - Aaron