Monday, February 8, 2010

Oh, My!

Thanks to Pat Brown, author of L. A. Boneyard for sharing these humorous answers taken from high school exams. And you thought kids didn't learn anything in school.

* Q. Define the first person.
   A. Adam.

* Punctuate means to make a hole in the tyre of a bicycle.

* Metaphor: A thing you shout through.

* Simile: A picturesque way of saying what you really mean, such as calling your mother an old trout.

* The feminine of Bull:  Mrs Bull.

* The parts of speech: Lungs and air.

* Verb: Something to eat.

* Adverb: The horses run fastly. This is an adverb.

* Abstract noun: Something you can’t see when you are looking at it.

* Abstract noun: The name of something which has no existence, as goodness.

* Abstract noun: Something we can think of but cannot feel — as a red-hot poker.

* Example of a collective noun: A flock of cattle.

* Example of a collective noun: A garbage can.

* Conjunction: The place where 2 railway lines meet.

* Imperfect tense: Used in France to express a future action in past time which does not take place at all.

* All sentences are either simple or confound.

* Passive voice:
Q. Correct the sentence — “It was me that has broken the window”.
A. “It wasn’t me that has broken the window”.

* Spelling (an English teacher’s comment on a student’s essay): "A dictionery would solve your spelling problems." (In case you missed it, dictionary is spelled wrong)


Cat said...

Nice. I think my favorite is 'The feminine of Bull: Mrs. Bull.'

s.w. vaughn said...

Ha! Imperfect tense: used in France... oh, that's great! And I love the "correct the sentence" one!

These are too funny. Thanks, Pat!

Sheila Deeth said...

Oh, wonderful! Especially "It wasn't me..."

Kim Smith said...

Love these!

David Ebright said...

Hey wait! What's wrong with a flock of cattle????

Pretty funny.

Joylene Nowell Butler said...

Thanks, Pat!

Here's more:

Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.

Shotgun wedding - A case of wife or death.

Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.