Monday, June 7, 2010

What’s on my mind?

© J. D. Webb 2010 all rights reserved


Facebook is always asking what’s on my mind. As if it’s their business. Usually my “share” is snarky, often offbeat. Yesterday I shared: There are times in conversations where you just want to say to someone, "Never pass up an opportunity to shut up." Further reflection, which I do when I’m putting off hunkering down to add to my work-in-progress and not playing Spider Solitaire, gave me another perspective on that statement. As an author, I can have an additional recourse. I can put that person in my novel and actually say it to him or her.

Authors have a tremendous opportunity for venting frustration. Believe me we have more than our share of frustration. Editors don’t like our voice, or our character doesn’t seem real. Agents give us form letters telling us our novel is not a good fit or more often send us no answer at all. Publishers want us to finish a book in four months time and still attend book signings, interviews, and rewrite the last fifteen chapters.  We work stuffed into our cubbyholes pounding on the keyboard or, if it applies, continually sharpening those pencils.

So, if someone cuts me off in traffic, they’re destined to be spindled or mutilated in my next book. I’ll mark down that person’s description, not too specific – I don’t want to be sued for slander or libel which ever applies – and a character is hatched. A telemarketer calls during supper and that voice is applied to a character. I’m channel surfing and happen to catch Dr. Phil and a perfect victim will be talking as if he or she knows what the heck is going on. Even Dr. Phil somedays. Although, I’d never put him in a book. Stay away from celebrities. That slander or libel thing will get expensive.

You get the point. Don’t have to pay big bucks for a shrink. My therapy is put ‘em my books and eradicate them in a justifiably horrible way. The more I get ticked, the harsher the punishment. It gives me a feeling of power and control. That may be the only time all day when I get such a feeling. After all, I am an author.

About the author, J. D. Webb:

I live in Forsyth, Illinois with Judi, my wife and best friend of 40 years, and our toy poodle, Ginger. I lose all domestic votes 2 to 1. Writing has been a life-long interest ever since, as punishment for being mischievous, I was thrust into a creative writing class. I've never hesitated to be mischievous again.


Four years in the Security Service of the Air Force serving fifteen months in the Philippines and a short stint in Viet Nam in 1965 and 1966 as a linguist, fluent in Chinese preceded 24 years in various management positions with the A. E. Staley Mfg. Co.  Then I was promoted to cobbler, owning a shoe repair and retail shoe store for 11 years, closing in 2002, when I became a full-time author.

My three novels were published by Wings ePress Inc.

The first is SHEPHERD'S PIE. Follow the link to read an excerpt of the first in the Mike Shepherd series.
The second is MOON OVER CHICAGO. Follow the link to read an excerpt of the first in the Fulton Moon series.
The third is HER NAME IS MOMMY. Follow the link to read an excerpt of the first in the Mike Shepherd book.

Coming soon is SMUDGE a stand-alone thriller.

9 comments:

Aaron Paul Lazar said...

Delightful post, J.D.!!!! Way to go!

Marta Stephens said...

I loved this post. So many to kill, so little time. LOL

dkchristi said...

I'm adding a few more characters to my WIP this afternoon; what a great idea. The question is whether to make them suffer, find a religious epiphany or send them to Antarctica :-) Thanks for the timely post. www.dkchristi.com, author of Ghost Orchid, a mystery of love, lies and redemption wrapped in a rare and endangered ghost orchid.

Dawn Anon said...

ooooooooooooooo....i love it! I love that you use the facebook "what's on your mind" spot for snark (i usually do too). I love that you turn idiot drivers into characters. Maybe if i could put my finger down and pick up my pen...

The Belle in Blue said...

I don't kill off people who irritate me, but I do love to mock them mercilessly in my books! Easy to do when it's strangers but a little more difficult when it's your friends or family! The trick is doing it so that they don't recognize themselves! LOL

Pauline B Jones said...

Oh, the catharsis of fictional mayhem. Love it. LOL!

Aaron Paul Lazar said...

Just thinking now how it's weird how I sometimes do the opposite - resurrect people who have died who I miss. ;o) Either way is very cathartic!

J D Webb said...

Absolutely, Paul. I often put my dear grandmother, who I miss terribly, into my books. She kind of sits on my shoulder, speaking bluntly and 'telling it like it is.'

J D Webb said...

Thanks all for your comments. Happy mayhem.