MB4 CRIT of the MONTH

Hello, MB4 friends. Following is this month's writing critique. We had some great comments from all four of the MB4 hosts, but they're tough to integrate into one cohesive and easy-to-follow segment. You'll see Kim Smith's comments integrated, but under my name.

Thanks, Tim, for submitting your fascinating writing sample, and best of luck with your future work!

- Aaron Lazar

THE TWELVE DISCIPLES

copyright 2011, Tim Thurman

Chapter One

Washington, D.C.

Christopher Hewitt closed the paper with a sinking feeling and a shake of his head[AL1] .  As[AL2]  Chief of Staff for the President of the United States, he simply could not stomach the fact that the President now trailed his Democratic opponent by double digits.  Hewitt had dedicated his life to the Republican Party, devoted his career to electing the President.  And now that they had finally made it to the grand prize, it was to be thrown away after only four years[RA3] .  This was simply unacceptable.

He sighed deeply[ms4] , the sigh[AL5]  of pure dread that is felt deep in one’s soul[AL6] .  He[AL7]  took a piece of paper out his desk drawer and stared at it.  It contained a list of twelve names and telephone numbers.  He was amazed that it had come to this[AL8] .[RA9] 

He pressed the intercom for his secretary.  “Stephanie, I need to step out of the office for about a half hour.  You can reach me on my cell.”  He quickly snapped off the intercom before she could object, knowing that several appointments[ms10] —with people who thought they were important—would have to be cancelled.   Feeling some of his childhood Catholic guilt, he intercomed[AL11]  her again, “Stephanie, sorry, but this is a minor emergency.  I know that Senator Pauls was coming to talk to me about the defense bill.  Call his office real quick and see if he wants to wait for me to get back, or if he can come later this afternoon[ms12] .  Like I said, I’ll only be gone about a half hour[AL13] ..”

With that, he strode to the door.  As he stepped through it[ms14] , Tony Pena, his Secret Service detail, joined him.

“Where are we off to, sir?  Do I need to call someone?”  Tony was really asking[AL15]  if they were to be leaving the White House, because Secret Service protocol required a minimum of two Secret Service agents to travel with the Chief of Staff.

Hewitt paused and looked him[ms16]  straight in the eye.  “Well Tony, this is a real quick[AL17]  errand that requires a bit of discretion.  I would appreciate it if just you and I could go. Please don’t call it in.” Truth was Hewitt loathed the security detail because of its cumbersome nature and because he grew tired of someone always being with him[AL18] .  This was especially true[AL19]  now that he could not make the call from the White House. 

Hewitt could see him or his aid [ms20] wrestling over whether to pacify his boss or follow his training[AL21] .  Tony had been by Hewitt’s side every day for nearly two years.  Hewitt rushed or any other word but strode again [ms22] on, knowing[AL23]  Tony would comply.

“You are putting me in a difficult position, Mr. Hewitt.  You know I am not supposed to let you off the grounds without another person with me[AL24] [AL25] [ms26] .”[RA27] 

---

 [AL1]From Kim Smith: I WOULD CHOOSE ONE EITHER THE SINKING FEELING OR THE SHAKE OF THE HEAD

 [AL2]Minor comment, but these days the new protocol is to use one space, not two, between sentences.

 [RA3]Is it possible this may be phrased as a question for effect, as if he is questioning all he worked for?

 [ms4]Eliminate “ly” adverbs as much as possible. Try to find another way to describe the action. This sentence could read:  “His sigh reflected the dread that bore deep into his soul.” 

 [AL5]Suggest another word for “sigh” to avoid repetition. Maybe “the sound of pure dread”?

 [AL6]From Kim Smith: LEAVE OFF THE SIGH OF DREAD AND FOLLOWING. THIS FIRST CLAUSE TELLS US ALL WE NEED

 [AL7]Since he’s staring at it, it’s clear he is being pensive, and I think you can eliminate this adverb. ;o)

 [AL8]From Kim Smith: I WOULD FIND A BETTER WAY TO SAY HE IS AMAZED. THE SINKING FEELING, THE SHAKING OF THE HEAD, ALL INTIMATE HE IS DISMAYED BUT NOT AMAZED

 [RA9]Good set up. Expand maybe a little more to build more tension into the scene

 [ms10]Several appointments in just half an hour? Maybe he should leave for the afternoon?

 [AL11]From Kim Smith: SAY CALLED- INTERCOMED SOUNDS WEIRD AND I AM NOT SURE OF THE SPELLING BUT SPELLCHECK IS DINGING IT

 [ms12]Between these two sentences, you might consider the secretary saying something about the Senator’s tight schedule and let Hewitt interrupt her by saying … “Like I said …”

 [AL13]He’s already told her this, I think you could eliminate it?

 [ms14]Consider rewriting this to avoid the redundancy.  If he strode through the door, we know he has stepped through it. He could stride through only to run into Pena (or something like that).

 [AL15]I think this is simpler?

 [ms16]A pronoun here would be appropriate because we now know Hewitt is talking with Tony and since he mentions him by name in the next sentence it stops the redundancy.

 [AL17]From Kim Smith: SECOND INSTANCE OF SAYING REAL QUICK

 [AL18]From Kim Smith: THIS LAST SENTENCE IS TELLING- SHOW US HIS LOATHING

 [AL19]Again, to simplify and reduce extra words that say a repeat thought or something obvious.

 [ms20]Again, find another way to ID Tony.

 [AL21]From Kim Smith: HOW? WHAT DOES TONY DO THAT MAKES HIM SEE THAT?

 [ms22]The word “strode” was used once before. Try to find another way of saying the same thing.

 [AL23]Whenever you have a “that” in your prose, try taking it out and see if it reads just a little smoother. I learned this quite a few years ago, but still have to check for “that’s” in m own writing.

 [AL24]Nice job, Tim. I would also consider adding contractions to make the dialog sound a little less stilted. Keep up the good work!

 [AL25]From Kim Smith: GOOD START, TIM. KEEP GOING!

 [ms26]Tim, this is an interesting beginning.  Since Hewitt is the protag, consider ending the chapter with a punch in Hewitt's POV.

 [RA27]Nice start, Tim. Sounds like a good foundation for a political thriller

Book Review for THE ABDUCTION OF MARY ROSE by Joan Hall Hovey

review by Aaron Lazar

Title:  THE ABDUCTION OF MARY ROSE

Author:  Joan Hall Hovey

Publisher: BWLPP

Genre: Suspense, 240 pages

ISBN-10: 1466337338

ISBN-13: 978-1466337336

Price: Kindle eBook: $2.99 Print Book: $11.99

Publisher website address: http://bwlpp.com/mysteries.php

Author’s personal website: http://www.joanhallhovey.com

I have been a fan of Joan Hall Hovey since I read CHILL WATERS last year. After that, I reached for each and every release with the same excitement I do for new books by bestselling authors like Dean Koontz. And with THE ABDUCTION OF MARY ROSE, Ms. Hovey follows in the same tradition of grabbing her readers by the throat and never letting go until the final pages bring the story to its ultimate resolution.

It’s not so much the de facto smooth writing skills, or the vivid scene-setting that makes you feel as if you are right there with the protagonist, or the wonderful, natural-sounding dialog, or the edge-of-your-seat suspense, or the wild chase scenes that keep you up into the wee hours of morning with your heart pounding...No, I expect all of these elements in this author’s books. What shines so brightly above and beyond these great traits, however, is Ms. Hovey’s characters. Rich with back-story, as real as the person sitting next to you on the couch or in your office, these people leap off the page and invade your mind, lingering for weeks or months afterwards.

In THE ABDUCTION OF MARY ROSE, you’ll immediately begin to root for Naomi Waters, a twenty-eight year old woman who records audio books for a living. Bright, loving, and a dedicated daughter, her story starts at her dying mother’s bedside.

Now, imagine losing your only parent to a devastating disease. On the day of the funeral, now imagine discovering that she wasn’t your mother, that you were adopted. With that comes the knowledge that the photo on your dresser of your long dead military hero father was fake, too. Add to that the sudden unveiling of all this through your mother’s obituary, written by the nasty sister of the only mother you ever knew, and you have the springboard from which this riveting story moves forward.

When Naomi starts to dig into her birthmother’s history, she’s horrified to discover that poor Mary Rose was only sixteen when she was abducted, brutally raped and left for dead. The Micmac native girl lived long enough in a coma to give birth to Naomi, then died shortly thereafter. The case was never solved, and for nearly thirty years the rapist and his cohort have lived free among the local townspeople. One elderly witness saw two men take her back then, but couldn’t react fast enough to save the poor girl when the abduction happened.

Ms. Hovey’s scene of the abduction broke my heart. I’m still upset about it, and still feel ragged hatred toward the men who took her, used her, and threw her away. I am filled with sorrow for Mary Rose’s dear, sweet grandfather, who lost his only family member to violence of the worst sort. I’m not sure I would have survived such a loss, to tell the truth.

Yet through all of this tension and horrible upheaval, Naomi vows to dig into the past, catch her mother’s killer or killers, and bring them to justice. With skills that rival some of the best detectives, born of a passion to avenge her mother and a close spiritual connection with Mary Rose, she steadfastly makes progress in spite of the local police’s lack of interest.

In Joan Hall Hovey’s inimitable style, she ratchets up the suspense and fear as the story unfolds. Naomi goes public, gains the interest of the locals, and in particular one very brutal and nasty man, her mother’s rapist and her biological father.

The problem is, this man has no conscience, and only wants to destroy the DNA evidence of his misdeed that lies within Naomi’s cells. The final scenes will have you rooting for Naomi and clinging to the edge of your seat. They are brilliantly rendered.

When you buy this book–and I highly recommend you do–you need to set aside time to read. Start it on a Friday night or Saturday morning, or you’ll be calling your boss to take a vacation day. Yes, it’s that good.

***

Interview with Mike Wells

Interview with Mike Wells, author of WILD CHILD

APL: After all the work, all the delays, all the disappointments, how did you feel the first time you saw WILD CHILD on the Kindle Bestsellers List? I know how I felt when TREMOLO: CRY OF THE LOON hit the list. I’ll probably remember that day in great clarity for years to come. Were you alone? Did you have a family member nearby? Did you celebrate? Does it feel just as good now, or do you have new dreams you’d like to achieve?

MW: When I first saw WILD CHILD on the Kindle Bestseller List, it was on the Amazon book page, where it says “Number (whatever) in Thrillers,” and I was sure it was a mistake. I didn’t really believe it until I went to the Bestsellers page. I was at home, but my wife was upstairs and I started yelling at her to come down and see—she was just as stunned as I was. Of course I have new dreams—it didn’t go up to #1, only #3, so I would like to be able to say I’ve had a #1 Amazon Kindle Bestseller. Can’t do that yet!

APL: Tell us about your mother-in-law and how she’s helped your books sell. I read your blog about the topic and loved it.

MW: My mother-in-law spent about 10 years (until just recently) working as a gossip columnist and journalist for a weekly magazine in Latvia that is considered by some to be a bit on the sensationalist side. When the publication added its online version, she became an expert at the kinds of keywords and ideas that generate interest (clicks) by people. So she applied these same principles to my book titles, helping me come up with titles that will cause people to click on them and find out more about the books. Most people love my books when they get to the point of actually reading them—it’s getting them that far that is so difficult (I know you can relate, Aaron!)

APL: How does the name of your blog (The Green Water Blog) relate to your books?

MW: The “green water” is from my thriller, WILD CHILD—it’s a magical substance that two teenagers find in a cave, a substance that gives people superhuman abilities. I chose that for my blog name because sometimes it does seem to take a superhuman effort to conceive, write and especially FINISH a great book!

APL: You write thrillers and suspense novels, including books for Young Adults. Tell us about your genres and how you switch between them.

MW: Actually I don’t think about genres at all, never have. I only know the genre of a book when it’s done, and usually it’s not a perfect fit—more a matter of deciding which genre is closest. In fact I didn’t even know there was such a genre in publishing called “young adult” way back when I wrote WILD CHILD—it was the publishers who categorized the story that way because of the age of the protagonists (late teens). But people of all ages love the book—in fact I see no difference in the response it received from adults, young adults, or even children.

APL: Do you have a day job, and does it relate to your writing in any way?

MW: I have a part-time day job teaching various college and graduate school courses in creative writing and also entrepreneurship (starting your own business). I guess it’s pretty obvious that both these type of classes relate to being a novelist if you’re self-published.

APL: What’s your favorite setting to write about? Does it have a basis in your own life?

MW: I don’t really have a favorite setting, but I always write about settings that I have experienced first-hand. I particularly enjoy writing about places that I’ve been which have made a lasting impression on me, whether it is from their beauty, intrigue, danger, craziness, or whatever. Moscow and some of the other cities in the former Soviet Union/Eastern Bloc come to mind—I have included some of these in Lust, Money & Murder. So do exotic places like the Caribbean island of Aruba, where I lived a few winters and The Mysterious Disappearance of Kurt Kramer is set.  I think most readers enjoy stories set in exotic locales.

APL: Tell us a about each of your books and how we can buy them.  

As I have quite a lot of books online, it’s probably best just to point you to my BOOKS link on my website.

APL: Would you like to add anything? How about contact info and your websites.

MW: Thanks so much for the opportunity to be on your great blog, Aaron! Much appreciated. I wish all your readers well.

Blog/website:

 www.thegreenwater.com
Facebook
www.facebook.com/MikeWellsAuthor
Twitter
@MikeWellsAuthor

The old and the new

*tapping mic* hello? Is this thing on?

Hello, my name is Kim and I am a serial writer.

There, I've said it.

But some folks wanna know how on earth do you write a series and keep it fresh, and keep it going with elements that are familiar and something that readers want to come back to book after book.

Well, here is my take on it.

You have to do simple things like change the season, up the ante on the characters' personal trials, and throw in a little of the mundane. That is how to keep it familiar but different. Also, you have to add in a new "something" that they have to endure and work through to keep it fresh. Murder is ever changing, right? Who's next on your list of victims?

While you keep the cohesive side of the series going you have to keep the quirky in your character, and add zip to the life of the character. But really, adding jeopardy to their life is what really keeps the pages turning.

Now, on to my personal note.

If you are a Shannon Wallace fan, you have a new book to look forward to. I just got the cover art final and wanted to share. Looks like next May will be the target date, but you should definitely go out to Red Rose Publishing and look me up. And while I am tooting my own horn, if you didn't know this, all my books are either in print and ebook form, or will be very soon.
Book three
Hope you will stay with me on this serial journey. I am trying hard to keep it fresh for you.

So the Plot Thickens...

The plot is the container into which you place all of your ideas, characters, actions, and all the details that make up your story. A few thousand years of storytelling has helped to define some general guidelines in regards to plot development, and some folks much smarter than I have boiled them down to an essential eight rules for developing a good plot.

1. Tension fuels your plot: No tension, no plot. It’s just that simple,and just that complex. Think of it as a way the characters interact with each other, and think of your own relationships. Even in the best of them tension exists that makes for a good story. Use that as a basis for creating tension in your plot.

2. Create tension through opposition: Whenever intention is denied there is conflict, and where there is conflict there is tension. This opposition can be either external, as in the antagonist vs. the protagonist, or internal within the characters themselves.

3. As the opposition grows, so should the tension: It’s not enough to create tension and opposition, it has to lead somewhere. We as writers want to keep our audience engaged in the action, so it is important to increase the intensity of each subsequent conflict, building tension as you go. The readers will be propelled forward toward to the point when all hell breaks loose.

4. Make change the point of your story: The story should progress in such a way that the events change the main characters. They should be a different person at the end of your story than they are at the beginning. If not the characters remain flat and static. Meaningful events bring about meaningful changes.

5. When something happens, makes sure it is important to the story: Sounds obvious, right? Well, if you think about it, as writers it is easy to get caught up in the world we create, and can let our characters sort of go their own way. Keep the thought in the front of your mind – if it doesn’t grow the tension between characters, and it doesn’t propel the plot forward, you may not need to include it in the story. Remember who’s in charge.

6. Keep the causal casual: If you accept the fact that the story itself moves on cause and effect, and that the effect becomes in turn the cause of the next action, then you have to accept that good writing appears to be casual. In reality, it is more causal than casual. You don’t want your plot to be announced with a big neon sign, but instead flow from your writing and charm the reader into taking the ride with you.

7. Leave the luck and chance to the casinos: Life is chaos punctuated by periods of order. It’s hard to predict from day to day, much less moment to moment, and is nothing more than the flow between cause and effect, some of which we are only peripherally aware of. In fiction, that is not allowed. Logic and reason have to take precedence over “the hand of God,” and the reason something happens must be evident somewhere in the story. Readers won’t tolerate random happenstance.

8. Make sure your central character stays central to the story: Once again, obvious, but is it always? At the climax of your story, your central character should remain the center of the action. Don’t let him or her be overwhelmed by the events at the climax. The main character should act, not be acted upon.

Horrible Homonymns, by Tom Drinkard

copyright Tom Drinkard, 2011

 Thomas Drinkard

Homonyms are devilish things.  They are, of course, words that sound alike—and may even be spelled alike—but have totally different meanings.

For a writer, they can be like unseen vipers.  Misuse of a homonym can ruin an otherwise literate document. A reader, noticing homonym errors, may simply stop reading. Whether in business documents, fiction or personal correspondence, a poorly chosen word—quite frequently a homonym—can be deadly.

But, a writer may say, “My word processor has an excellent built in spell-checker.” Good, but consider the following fictional story from WWI.  How many homonym errors do you spot?

Treat this as a test, and then grade your score at the end of the article.  Copy/paste the story and run it through your word processing program for a quick spell cheque (bet your software found that one).  How many of the errors did your program find? 

~~~~~~~~~

Major General Wytheby-Foster stood in the lea of his squadron’s hanger, sheltering from the vicious wind.

His aid stood nervously by, watching as his superior officer checked the fabric of each wing of every biplane. The general’s meticulous inspection had the affect of making the aid remember one of his boss’ guiding principals, “Check everything twice.”

All night long, the general had poured over the plans for today’s operation. With the terrible weather, an ariel attack on the gorilla bases was a virtually a case of the old saw, “Dammed if you do, dammed if you don’t.” Was it reasonable to send his fliers up with the wind roaring and lightening ripping the skies? Wytheby-Foster asked himself again and again.

He wasn’t a man who was phased by criticism. He had personally led squadrons of warplanes into direct battle and, on occasion, had participated in strategic faints to draw the enemy into traps. It was his flare for unconventional, but successful tactics, which had earned him his stars. Catching the enemy unawares was his fort. Today appeared to be the right time for audacity.  Weather that was barely fit for flying, augered well for surprise. If his squadrons flue today, the enemy would be totally off-guard. If he ignored the opportunity, it would be a gaff, a huge waste of a military advantage.  Wytheby-Foster could not foregoe this chance.

“Brixby, form the troops.” He said to his aid. This was the queue to assemble the flyers in formation for his pre-mission address.

Once the flyers and their crews were in formation and the general had given them their orders, he told them to take care of themselves above all, he said, “I don’t want you to hesitate to bale out if necessary. You are too important to your families and the Air Service. Above all, come home. I want to complement all of you on you’re courage, but don’t sacrifice yourself on the alter of unnecessary daring-do.”

“Now go to your plains and, for your old commander, once you’ve begun your assent, give me a wave from your cockpit. Godspeed, gentlemen, we cannot afford to loose any of you,” he said as he concluded his remarks.

~~~~~~~~~

How many homonym errors did your computer spot?  How many did you spot that the spell-checker missed?

18 – 26—Excellent-you may be an editor (or peeked)

12 – 18—Not bad, use your dictionary frequently

8 – 12—Have another proofreader look at the text before publishing

Less than 8—Some excellent homonym-finder software is available

Following are the homonym mistakes in the story: the incorrect homonym is listed first; the correct word follows. Usually the words are pronounced exactly alike. A short definition follows each word.

            Hanger – one who hangs something, (e.g. wallpaper hanger) or, coat hanger

            Hangar – large building with extensive floor area, typically for aircraft

Lea – an open grassy area such as a mountain valley

            Lee - shelter from the elements given by an object

            Aid – help of a practical nature

            Aide – an assistant to an important person

            Affect – make a difference

            Effect – change that is the result or consequence of an action

            Principals – first in order of importance

            Principles – fundamental truths serving as a foundation for belief systems

            Poured – causing (a liquid) to flow in a steady stream

            Pored – studiously reading or studying (plans or books)

            Ariel – a gazelle found in the Middle East and North Africa

            Aerial – happening in the air

            Gorilla – a great ape found in Africa

            Guerilla – a member of a group involved in irregular warfare

            Dammed – a barrier across a lake, river or stream

            Damned – cursed by others

            Lightening – reducing the burden or weight

            Lightning – a discharge of electricity from the sky

            Phased – stages in progress or development

            Fazed – disturbed or disconcerted

            Faints – small or weak and dizzy, leading to unconsciousness

            Feints – distracting maneuvers, especially in warfare

            Flare -             a pyrotechnic device, esp. used as a marker or signal

            Flair – an instinctive aptitude or natural ability to do something well

            Fort – fortified position or group of buildings

            Forte – something at which someone excels

            Auger – a tool for drilling holes

            Augur – predict or portend an outcome

            Flue – duct for smoke or gases

            Flew – past tense of fly

            Gaff – a barbed spear used to land large fish

            Gaffe – a blunder, causing embarrassment

            Foregoe – precede in time or place

            Forgo – omit or decline to take

            Cue – an act or word intended to serve as a signal

            Queue – a line or sequence of people waiting their turn

            Plains – a large geographical area with few trees

            Planes – in the context of the story, aircraft

            Assent – expression of approval

            Ascent – rising through the air

            Loose – not tight-fitting or snug

            Lose – cease to have or retain

            Bale – bundle of paper, hay, cotton, etc.

            Bail – make an emergency parachute exit from an airplane

Daring – do – not a legitimate term

            Derring–do – action displaying heroic courage

           

Complement – a thing that completes or brings to perfection

Compliment – an expression of praise or admiration

            You’re – contraction of “you are”

            Your – possessive adjective belonging to persons the speaker is addressing

***

Thomas Drinkard was born and reared in the Deep South—Alabama. He graduated from the University of North Alabama with a degree in English.  At graduation, he was commissioned as a Second Lieutenant in the United States Army and went on active duty eight days later. Within two years, he volunteered and was accepted into the Special Forces (Green Berets) after Airborne and Special Forces school, he’d found a home. With a few other assignments in between, he spent ten years with the fabled unit. He was unhappy with the Army’s plans for his future and left active duty and moved into the reserves.  He is now a Major, retired reserves. After the Army, he found his way into teaching and writing in the securities licensing preparation business.  His textbooks, articles and CE courses are in use today. His poetry can be found in a number of literary magazines, including Negative Capability, Cotton Boll/Atlanta Review, Elk River Review and others.

  Piety and Murder was his first novel, and the prequel; Where There Were No Innocents was the second.  The novella, V Trooper, is a departure for him in both form and genre. It is Tom’s first venture into the paranormal. The book is first in a planned series.

Meet Ruby, from Tall Pines Mysteries.

Good morning, writers and readers!

Once in a while we cohosts here at Murderby4 allow ourselves to crow a little, maybe to flap our feathers with a bit of self promotion. We don't do it too often, but it's okay when we release our latest books. ;o)

Tell the truth, I was so busy worried about putting up all our guests' posts this month, I almost overlooked the fact that my debut book in the new Tall Pines Mysteries is scheduled to be released November 15th. Sigh. Sometimes I'm quite the idiot.

FOR THE BIRDS is my 14th novel and the first in TALL PINES MYSTERIES, a series of three books with plenty more to come. It's based in the Finger Lakes and Adirondacks regions of New York - and has been touted as a "fresh new mystery" and " an intriguing mix of compelling characters and unexpected and unconventional twists and turns."

Actually, my publisher just alerted me that it's now available a bit early in all eBook formats and trade paperback on Amazon and Barnes&Noble, and can most likely be purchased everywhere. I've got dozens of review copies out, but I haven't told the world about Ruby yet.

Am I slipping? LOL. Maybe. But this is my fourteenth book in a long line of works (some published, some not yet), and I have been working all year on edits for seven books slated to be released in the next six months. It's been a tad crazy around here!

And I know, I should've taken more time to get published than just writing my heart out! Such is life and it is what it is.

Here's a synopsis to get you up to speed with the new characters and animals. And--by the way--this is my first series where I write from a woman's POV, a challenge I gave myself after seeing so many of my writer friends hop into the heads of the opposite sex with ease. Having lived with three daughters, my wife, and mother-in-law for the past few decades, I had some great examples. And all those Lifetime movies my wife watches didn't hurt, either. LOL.

 

FOR THE BIRDS, SYNOPSIS

 

No one could accuse Marcella Hollister's family of being normal. Her gorgeous Native American husband, Quinn, has a compulsive cleaning problem – which works for her, since she gets a pass on housework. Her mother, who insists on being called Thelma, loves picking on Quinn. And then there's Ruby. Sometimes Marcella isn't sure who Quinn loves more, his wife or his prized parakeet. Fortunately she loves the bird as much as her dust-busting husband.

While mourning the death of her stepfather, Raoul, Marcella and family head for the prestigious Adirondack National Bird Show for a much-needed vacation and with hopes that Ruby will win the coveted “best new color” class. But when Thelma trips and falls into a hotel pool with Ruby, dragging a line of twinkling lights with her, plans change. Electricity zaps through the water. Thelma and Ruby barely survive the ordeal, and a bizarre psychic link forms between them.

Eccentric bird psychic, Earl Tiramisu, starts to pester Marcella, and things get weird when he asks too many questions about her stepfather and his past. When Thelma is kidnapped from her hospital bed, the FBI shows up faster than expected, asking questions about Thelma’s recent inheritance from Raoul, implying that it may be linked to the Green Valley Bank heist – the largest unsolved robbery in U.S. history.

Through mountains, rivers, and across the rugged Adirondack park landscape, a brutal scenario evolves, where the good guys aren’t what they seem, and only Ruby’s newly acquired “Thelma-vision” provides hope for survival.

Book 2, ESSENTIALLY YOURS is slated for March 2012 release, and promised to bring as much or more fresh, contemporary adventure as Book 1. And I'm (trying to) working on SANCTUARY, Book 3, as this all happens around me. Phew.


So, here are a few shortcuts for you. You can read the first chapters in both FOR THE BIRDS and ESSENTIALLY YOURS by clicking the titles in this sentence.

And by the way, I am looking for EARLY reviewers for ESSENTIALLY YOURS, which is available right now only in .mobi and .epub eBook formats. So let me know if you want to participate in the great early review!
Now, if you're confused about all my mystery series, what's out and what's coming, don't worry. It's been a razzle dazzle time around here, so I've put together this summary to help you know what's what. And you can find links and buy info for all available books on my website, which is still named after the first series: www.legardemsyteries.com  I've got a new site going, called lazarbooks.com, but haven't had time to work on it yet. Some day!





Thanks for stopping by, and remember, if you love to write, write like the wind!

Aaron Paul Lazar

Twilight Times Books by Kindle bestselling author, Aaron Lazar:

LEGARDE MYSTERIES

DOUBLE FORTÉ (coming, FEB 2012, author’s preferred edition, 2012, eBook and print)  

UPSTAGED (coming, JUNE, 2012 author’s preferred edition, 2012, eBook and print)  

TREMOLO: CRY OF THE LOON (released, 2007)

MAZURKA (released, 2009)

FIRESONG (released, JULY 2011)

DON’T LET THE WIND CATCH YOU (coming, APRIL 2012)

MOORE MYSTERIES

HEALEY'S CAVE (released, 2010)

TERROR COMES KNOCKING (coming, FEB 2012)

FOR KEEPS (coming, MAY 2012)

TALL PINES MYSTERIES

FOR THE BIRDS (released, NOV 2011)

ESSENTIALLY YOURS (coming, MARCH 2012)

Awards:

WINNER 2011 Eric Hoffer BEST Book, COMMERCIAL FICTION * FINALIST EPIC Awards 2011* GRAND PRIZE FINALIST Eric Hoffer Book Award 2011 * 2X FINALIST Global eBook Awards 2011 * Preditors & Editors Readers Choice Award – 2^nd place 2011* Winner of Carolyn Howard Johnsons’ 9^th Annual Noble (Not Nobel!) Prize for Literature 2011 * Finalist Allbooks Editors Choice Awards 2011 * Preditors&Editors Top 10 Finalist  * Yolanda Renee's Top Ten Books 2008  * MYSHELF Top Ten Reads 2008  * Writers' Digest Top 101 Website Award 2009-2011

www.legardemysteries.com

www.mooremysteries.com

www.murderby4.blogspot.com

www.aaronlazar.blogspot.com

www.aplazar.gather.com

http://aaronlazar.younglivingworld.com

www.pureoils.blogspot.com

A HUGE eBook Sale!

Hi, folks!

This is a really big deal.

My publisher is putting ALL of Twilight Times eBooks on sale. A select few are also only 99 cents, which is a great bargain. Did you ever think you could get so many good books for so little? Ha. My wife and I are gobbling these up.

Please spread the word if you can - I want everyone to benefit from this sale, it goes through mid January.


HERE'S THE OFFICIAL BLURB:

"We appreciate our readers. 100 critically acclaimed ebooks are on sale from Twilight Times Books.
Prices discounted 50% ($1.99 to $3.50) now via the Twilight Times Books web site and also via our ebook distributors later this month: B & N Nook, eReader, Fictionwise, Kindle, Kobo, OmniLit, Sony, etc. until Jan 15th.

Historical, literary, mystery, SF, YA and more."

http://twilighttimesbooks.com/

The books in BLUE below are all on sale here if you are interested. Just scroll down the page a little and you'll see all the covers. Titles are listed alphabetically.

Twilight Times Books by Kindle bestselling author, Aaron Lazar:

LEGARDE MYSTERIES

DOUBLE FORTÉ (coming, FEB 2012, author’s preferred edition, 2012, eBook and print)  

UPSTAGED (coming, JUNE, 2012 author’s preferred edition, 2012, eBook and print)  

TREMOLO: CRY OF THE LOON (released, 2007)

MAZURKA (released, 2009)

FIRESONG (released, JULY 2011)

DON’T LET THE WIND CATCH YOU (coming, APRIL 2012)

MOORE MYSTERIES

HEALEY'S CAVE (released, 2010)

TERROR COMES KNOCKING (coming, FEB 2012)

FOR KEEPS (coming, MAY 2012)

TALL PINES MYSTERIES

FOR THE BIRDS (released, NOV 2011)

ESSENTIALLY YOURS (coming, MARCH 2012)

Thanks and have a great Sunday!

Aaron Paul Lazar

www.legardemysteries.com 

Murder and Mayhem and .... Thankfulness?

Dear Murder by 4 friends,

Today I am going to talk about the essence of murder and mayhem. These items are the very gut of writing mystery and suspense. But heck, why IS that?

Well, there is nothing more horrible than murder and mayhem, so it makes the most intense reading. I know, in our times of instant movies, news, and everything electronic, it is hard to get a shudder going because we are blasted with murder and mayhem on a regular basis. But nevertheless, it is the essence of what a good mystery/suspense writer should be aiming for.

That shudder, that cold chill, that feeling of horror when someone is killed by no nice means.

How do you know when you are hitting the mark? Here are the descriptive blurbs from three good writers: see if you can figure out what words make you get that "oh yum" feeling of a mystery to be devoured.

electrifying thriller
chilling truth
game of beat the clock
deserted highway
burst of flames
unanswered questions
target
deep-seated fear

Now, the question, my dear writer friends would be : are you writing this? Are your readers seeing electrifying writing? Chilling plots? High stakes? Danger on every page? Or even for the simple mystery, unanswered questions and fear? These are essential!

I hope you have an awesome November. And that brings me to the thankfulness part of this post.

A challenge has been issued. A gauntlet has been thrown down. For the next thirty days, I am going to be compelled to write about what I am thankful for. So get ready. This is a daily challenge, and you will find the results on my Facebook page, so if you haven't friended me there, go do that right now. It's here : Kim Smith, Facebook Page.

In the immortal words of Jim Carrey, alrighty then.

_____________________
Kim Smith, author of the zany Shannon Wallace Mysteries
Get the first two books in the series, Avenging Angel, and Buried Angel, at a 10% discount for a limited time!