copyright 2015, Aaron Paul Lazar
Have you lost someone recently? Is your heart broken? Are
you falling apart?
It isn’t easy. Hell, no. It’s outrageously difficult. Life
isn’t supposed to be this way, is it?
I have dear friends who’ve lost their husband and undergone
terrible surgeries all in the same year, whose husbands have the dreaded C word
and are fighting day to day to survive, whose children are dying and at home in
hospice as we speak, whose children were unfairly targeted by a mass of
politically correct school administrators who ruined the boy’s chance of
fulfilling his dreams… so many losses, so many hardships. How can they cope?
How can these things be happening?
And of course, for those of you who know me, I lost my
mother unexpectedly this summer. She was healthy, supremely healthy. But
complications arose after a routine surgery and now she’s gone. Gone forever.
Way before her time, I might add. It simply killed me.
People suffer every day with challenges, but for writers, as
tough as it is to manage our way through these waves of grief or fear, it is an
aspect of life that deepens our understanding of the human condition. It may
even bring us closer than ever before to the edge of insanity or to the worst
kinds of pain.
And yet, as awful as these things can be, I’m here to
say these experiences can move you along the path to great writing.
How can our characters hurt if we have never cried or felt
the horrible, gnawing black hole in our own chests upon loss of a loved one?
How can they seem authentic? How can our words ring true with our readers?
Sure, we can imagine these things. We all do that. We have
to in many cases. Especially if we’re writing about being a murderer or flying
through space, assuming we haven’t ever killed anyone and aren’t aliens, that
is.
But the scenes you write for characters who are deeply
hurting will seem even more genuine to your readers after you’ve gone through
it yourself. Can you see that?
So, dear writers, use your pain. Tap into those emotions
that threaten to destroy you. Analyze your own reactions, your body’s
responses. Study your words, your physical motions, your internal dialog. And
wrap them up in a package to use when you decide to put your characters through
hell.
I guarantee this: your readers will empathize with your
characters and may even soak their shirtfronts with tears. They will believe
your words. They will believe in your characters and ache for their pain. And,
aside from being a number one bestseller, what can be more satisfying than
that?
Remember, if you love to write… write like the wind!
Aaron Paul Lazar
www.lazarbooks.com
Sad that you lost your mom so expectantly but like grieving for your dad and other relatives who have passed you used the grief to create some fantastic writing. Some people can only write when they are in a dark place and some can't write at all. I have tried and I have only succeeded in getting the keyboard wet
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean, Writerchick. I couldn't write one word for the first month, except the eulogy for my mother, of course. That came easily one morning at 5 AM. But it took several months before I really felt like writing much of anything, never mind promoting and all that stuff. Thanks for your kind words!
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