Oh, My!

Thanks to Pat Brown, author of L. A. Boneyard for sharing these humorous answers taken from high school exams. And you thought kids didn't learn anything in school.

* Q. Define the first person.
   A. Adam.

* Punctuate means to make a hole in the tyre of a bicycle.

* Metaphor: A thing you shout through.

* Simile: A picturesque way of saying what you really mean, such as calling your mother an old trout.

* The feminine of Bull:  Mrs Bull.

* The parts of speech: Lungs and air.

* Verb: Something to eat.

* Adverb: The horses run fastly. This is an adverb.

* Abstract noun: Something you can’t see when you are looking at it.

* Abstract noun: The name of something which has no existence, as goodness.

* Abstract noun: Something we can think of but cannot feel — as a red-hot poker.

* Example of a collective noun: A flock of cattle.

* Example of a collective noun: A garbage can.

* Conjunction: The place where 2 railway lines meet.

* Imperfect tense: Used in France to express a future action in past time which does not take place at all.

* All sentences are either simple or confound.

* Passive voice:
Q. Correct the sentence — “It was me that has broken the window”.
A. “It wasn’t me that has broken the window”.

* Spelling (an English teacher’s comment on a student’s essay): "A dictionery would solve your spelling problems." (In case you missed it, dictionary is spelled wrong)