The TBR Pile

Readers and writers all have one: a pile of books "to be read", spanning either wish-list or physical space (see that big stack of books on my end table? I'm going to read them all. Really!). So many books, so little time. How are you going to get through them all?

I'd love to offer some practical tips for managing your TBR pile - but unfortunately, I have no idea how to do it myself. I'm sure I am going to die with a pile of unread books, so I'll just have to hope that in my next life I'm independently wealthy, in order to have more time to read.

In lieu of advice, I'll just tell you how to cheat.

Go here: Book-a-Minute

This tongue-in-cheek website offers "ultra-condensed books for those pressed for time." It actually provides brief, script-style (and extremely funny) send-ups of popular and classic novels, such as this one:

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

HARRY POTTER
I thought I was a lowly child; instead, I'm a wizard.

HAGRID
Harry, here are some secrets I'm not supposed to tell you.

HARRY POTTER
(saves the world)

THE END

There! Now you've read Harry Potter - so even if you're the last person on Earth who hasn't yet, you can join in intelligent discussions and heated fan debates.

Warning: Visiting Book-a-Minute may result in hours of lost time as you are compelled to read every single book you've ever, or never, read. Also, tragically, their selections are currently limited to SF/F, Classics, and Bedtime Stories. Here's hoping they start cataloguing other genres soon.

If you also have a tall TBW stack of movies, don't forget to visit Movie-a-Minute, where you'll find such thrilling entries as:

Godzilla

MATTHEW BRODERICK
I'm in charge of sympathizing with Godzilla and being a geek. Let's kill it and act all sad.

JEAN RENO
First let us stare dumbly at it until it is too late to run.

MATTHEW BRODERICK
Many times.

JEAN RENO
Yes.

THE END